I’m knee-deep in my ART OF TIDYING UP NEGATIVE ENERGY project on my master bedroom closet (I finished a hallway project first, so that post is on its way soon), which has lead me to a full-on conundrum – what to do with my family and wedding photos.
my messy, packed closet I’m purging negative energy from
The memories of the four of us together on vacation, during a monumental event, or the biggest yet – WEDDING PHOTOS – are not ones that I can emotionally part with. These weren’t memories that I ever want to forget or pretend didn’t happen or that didn’t have real love behind them when they were shot.
BUT, displaying this family of four around the house is triggering for us left behind, to say the least. It feels confusing. Perhaps unauthentic. Weird.
So far, I have divided up some of these photos to give to my husband and I’ve pretty much stopped there. Should I box the rest up and store them? Will I ever look at them again without bursting into tears? I certainly don’t want to destroy them.
A project like my Art of Tidying Up Negative Energy is one meant to address the emotions that appear with the work. It’s important to put a lot of meaningful thought and purpose around the struggle. I knew this and expected it, but I was still surprised how quickly I was triggered and just downright sad while in the thick of it.
At one moment during the photo purge, I stared at an old photo of my husband and I before we had kids and thought, “Was he in love with me here?” He said he was (and up until the day he walked out). He said I was the ONE. His soulmate. And he was all of those things for me. But, was it his truth? I may never know. Maybe it doesn’t matter now that we’re at the place we’re at, but it still pokes at my heart.
And then the pics of the kids. Photos of us as a family of four stings the most. These beautiful boys with a loving mom and dad, now discarded. As if there was never a history, love bonding, or bloodlines. Just discarded. And now these moments will be discarded in a plastic bin to live in the garage indefinitely.
Unless you have a more clever idea for handling them. I’m all ears.
This sucks, people. 7 months. It’s only been 7 months. I’m in tears with every 4×6 I touch. Help.
11 Comments
I love you Amy. And it tears me up to understand these moments you must endure. I love you…
Thank you, friend. I love you so much, too. <3
Oh Amy. I wish I had good advice. I can tell you as a child from a divorced family, I like to look at our photos of when we were a whole family. I like to remember those days and even though it hurts. I look at them (years and years later) and see what was and I do wonder what could be but then I look what’s around me and I’m happy it turned out the way it did. It took me until I was 40 to realize when I see the photos but I’m still glad I have the few that I have. It’s raw right now but someday you and the kids will want to look at them.
Big hugs. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Thank you for thinking about me, Sommer. It’s certainly hard. Every bit of it. Thank you for the hugs. 🙂
I am hoping it will eventually become easier for you! I would definitely store them somewhere so they are not in your face and triggering for you and the kiddos. Let that negativity go. May you find peace and healing power in the positive!! HUGS!
I think that is what I’ll likely do. It seems like the best compromise for now. I appreciate your feedback so much.
I would treat it like I did my mom’s stuff after she died. Box it up and decide later. In a few years you will be in a much better place to make decisions. Not everything, but the photos for sure. Your kids might want to see them someday.
Agreed. Decision don’t have to be made today, especially on an emotional level. Smart plan to box them up and decide later. Love you, friend.
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